The dark overlord declared that none shall use the text tool.

The Dark Lord promotes positive thinking by mounting a campaign against the use of negative contractions.

You-know-who is threatening you to get rid of all that negativity. It's oddly motivating.

Voldemort trades in the elder wand for something far more fabulous honey. You go girl.

Voldemort knew, deep down inside, that he was tired of being an eldritch horror, and that he had much more to offer the world: his fabulous, flamboyant sense of fashion.